Dude in Distress Strip 76

2nd Jul 2018, 7:01 AM in First Date
Dude in Distress Strip 76
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Author Notes:

EssayBee 2nd Jul 2018, 7:01 AM
Here's strip 76 of Dude in Distress, and the conversation steers back to more serious matters.


O8h7w 2nd Jul 2018, 8:17 AM
Veeery interesting :)

For once, I do see some opportunity for improvements in the writing with this conversation. At times - most clearly in panel 3 of this page - Femme's dialogue reads a little bit like... official statements, "the PR department", something not quite natural and most importantly sligthly more like text rather than talk. It is a subtle thing, made more apparent by the fact that you mostly write <i>extremely</i> natural dialogue.

I'm sorry to say I don't know exactly what it is (it is a very long sentence with some not so common words, maybe that's it, maybe not), that mystery of writing natural dialogue is as I have said previously one of the things that most amazes me about your work. I myself have no idea how to write like that, I just recognize it when I read it. I hope I gave you some sort of lead and that when I this one time had something more constructive than just cheers and applause you wanted to hear it :) You're producing a great comic here which I'm grateful to read for free, I hope you keep it up and I wish you great success!
EssayBee 2nd Jul 2018, 10:29 AM
You're exactly right about the dialogue feeling like PR. Much of what Femme is saying here is pretty much what Con'qorians are taught from childhood and "official" Con'qorian philosophy. I strongly believe things like "foundation for personal development" and "developmental path" are Con'qorian philosophical buzz terms.

But as hopefully also comes across with this page, somewhere along the way, Femme seems to have had a bit of a disconnect from these cultural beliefs. (And we'll be getting a bit into that very shortly.) Regardless of her personal issues, I think she's still loathe to speak badly of her culture, so, in situations like this, she falls back on her "official" voice as a member of the Royal Family (complete with official terminology).
O8h7w 2nd Jul 2018, 11:10 AM
That makes very good sense and might come through clearly when reading through these pages all at once rather than one at a time. That said, I've seen this in Femme's dialogue before, but not so pronounced that I could put my finger on it at all. But that might very well be exactly when speaking about Con'qoria! Will have to do an eagle-eyed read-through at some point :)
EssayBee 2nd Jul 2018, 11:30 AM
More formal dialogue with Femme is frequently an indicator of her perceived role. When she first starts interacting with Clark in Episode 1 (back around Strip 17; http://dudeindistress.thecomicseries.com/comics/26), aside from when she's surprised, she speaks in more stilted "superhero" speak. But that persona quickly disappears as she talks with him--just one of those things of how being with the right person can bring out a person's true self.
Black Rose 4th Jul 2018, 1:19 PM
Can't wait to see what else Clark learns about FF...